Story behind the record sleeve: Let me be a ghost (2021) - Kristoffer Gildenlöw
Depression is a horrible disease. You can't exactly say what the cause is and that increases the feelings of guilt and shame. Kristoffer Gildenlöw, bassist of the Dutch symphonic rock group Kayak, released the album “Let me be a Ghost” last year to draw attention to this disease. It resulted in an intrusive album with a beautiful cover by young Dutch artist Sander van Helvoort.
Depression is not a cheerful theme, but it’s reality for many people. In the music world several artists suffer from this and try to write it ‘out of their system’. Take for instance the lyrics by Nick Cave, Ian Curtis (Joy Division) or Peter Hammill (Van der Graaf Generator).
It is also a current theme for Kristoffer Gildenlöw. “Why this theme?” I asked him. “Unfortunately, I often see depression all around me. From acquaintances, friends and colleagues who take early retirement, to people who fight every day to put one foot in front of the other, just to move forward. Depression is something strange, something intangible, something very difficult to understand and even more difficult to get over. You never recover from depression, you just learn to live with it. You learn to recognize the signals and what you can do to avoid falling deeper into the black hole… because there’s actually no bottom.”
Gildelöw, born in Sweden but living in the Netherlands since 2003, is also easily thrown off balance and has difficulty getting back on top. He recognizes the signals and he knows how to deal with them reasonably well; he knows that the demons in his head are not telling the truth at that moment.
Gildenlöw gives it a name and at the same time sends a hopeful message into the world with “Let me be a Ghost”: you are not alone, many around you share the same problem (although not always visible on the outside). His songs also contain an important appeal: open your eyes and see what a person suffering from depression needs. Let someone tell their story in their own words and don't beat that story down with knock-out arguments.
It is not the first Gildenlöw solo album with a theme. He previously released “The Rain”, about a man's struggle against dementia, Alzheimer's disease in this particular case. Just like “Let me be a Ghost”, “The Rain” is characterized by fragile, dark, melancholic, but also soothing music. Which, Gildenlöw hopes, can help break through the misunderstanding about dementia and depression.
The cover of “Let me be a ghost” is a true work of art. Depression depicted. You lose control of your life. The ground beneath your feet gives way, you sink into the ground. You end up in a dark tunnel, there’s no way out. Fear dominates. It is often impossible to reason, but that's how depression feels.
Gildenlöw came into contact with artist Sander van Helvoort following his solo album “Homebound” from April 2020. It was difficult to promote the album because all live shows were canceled due to Covid-19. The Netherlands were in lockdown. Gildenlöw thought that video clips of his songs should be made. He made a Limited Edition for “Homebound” with a DVD included. The DVD contains music videos for each song so you can experience the entire record visually. Gildenlöw made an appeal via social media to produce these videos. Several artists came forward, including Sander van Helvoort.
For "Let me be a ghost” Gildenlöw had the idea to use something dark as artwork. He thought Helvoort's artwork was great and appropriate for the atmosphere he had created. When they were exchanging ideas, Helvoort showed a painting, which was not yet finished. He said it was a work in progress and asked if this was what he meant. "This is it!!!” Gildenlöw cried out enthusiastically; "This is the artwork I’ve been looking for." Helvoort finished the painting and sent photos. Because the painting is displayed horizontally in the gatefold and booklet, the viewer can choose which way to rotate it. Both versions tell their own story and the many details in the painting take on a new meaning.
Kristoffer Gildenlöw performed live on Friday 25 March during the Progdreams festival at the Boerderij. A nice, subdued show. Sander van Helvoort was also present. Backstage, he offered Gildenlöw a copy of the painting of the falling man. The musician was honored and promised to give the work a suitable space in his music studio.
On Saturday 23 April, Kristoffer Gildenlöw will be back on stage at De Boerderij, this time for Kayak's farewell tour. This will undoubtedly result in a less subdued, but surely just as wonderful show.
Gerrit-Jan Vrielink